i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
