is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize