Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
