R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
