He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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