is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
