why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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