Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
