We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
