well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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