Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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