U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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