Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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