he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
