She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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