You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
