i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
