I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize