Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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