eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
