Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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