Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
