when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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