My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
