So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
