he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
