She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
