We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
