He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
