I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
