dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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