i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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