absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
