WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
