Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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