i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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