Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
