hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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