So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize