I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
