All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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