so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
