bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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