And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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