I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
