Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
