after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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