found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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