i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
