it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
now i know why i became what i already was.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
