We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
