just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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