if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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