Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
