Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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