U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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