His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
