let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
so much tequila, so little girl.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
