No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
