I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
