i don't like sucking hair
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
