if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
birth control should be required to get into college
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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