a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
