Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I skipped work to stalk him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
