Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
