All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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